Thursday, 29 May 2014

Notes from the trenches


FINALLY! Some time at the computer! My mama is always hogging this thing, like she's the only person in the house with any work to do!
Anyway, I decided to keep her busy by emptying the kitchen cupboards, and while she's tidying up, I can talk to my people.
My mama writes a blog called Mama Bare, which she says is an honest, notes from the trenches kind of story about being a mama, and how "hard" it can be. Well, I thought, that's what us little ones need! Enough with the CBeebies and Peppa Pig (although they are kinda fun), we babies need a voice! So here I am, telling it like it is.
Now, it's not always easy being a baby, but I'm here to listen and tell our story, so let me know if here's anything you want the world to know, okay?

Here's a few facts about me;

Name: Tootie, Tootiepie, Tootens, Sweetie, Babycakes, and sometimes I'm called OMG WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOW, which I think is a bit long, but hey, whatever works.

Age: 11 months

Occupation: Sleep coach, food critic

Special skills: Saying "Daddy" and smiling sweetly. This gets me ANYTHING, especially chocolate.
Climbing onto tables
Climbing out of highchairs
Turning myself inside out when I go near a car seat
Keeping Mama awake
Making strangers stop and say how cute I am
Making Daddy's money disappear
Eating blueberries
Using weetabix as shampoo
Grabbing the cat's tail and not letting go
Climbing stairs
Taking Daddy's glasses off

Special Features: Razor sharp fingernails. I once nipped Mama's boob so hard that it left a bruise that lasted TEN DAYS. No joke.
Ability to fight sleep. Seriously, I can beat anyone at this. I bet I can beat you.

Proudest moment: One time, I didn't let Mama sleep for five nights straight. She saw a friend's holiday photos on Facebook and cried because she was so jealous of them relaxing on a beach while she felt like she was going crazy. LOL.

Well, that's me. I'll try and create another diversion soon so I can get the computer again. Hope you like my stories :)

PS. It might say "written by Jodie Widden", but that's only because I stole Mama's blogger ID. I don't condone identity theft, but you have to be 18 or some nonsense to register. Unfair.